We live in a modern society where oftentimes both parents have to work to financially sustain a household.  Many times parents run around transporting their children from game to game or from activity to activity. Other times when a child comes home from school parents encourage them to go out and play as long as they do not stay out past their curfew.  One item is missing from the table today.  No pun intended – families are just not sitting down to dinner any more.  Is there actually a benefit from having this culinary experience as a family? 

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) over the past decade surveyed thousands of American teens and their parents to discovered that one of the most effective ways parents can keep their kids from using substances is by sitting down to dinner with them and talking. 

It is interesting to note that sitting down to dinner gives parents an opportunity to find out what is happening in their child’s life.  It is a matter of listening not only talking.  It is about a conversation around their lives.  It should be done in an atmosphere where the TV is shut off, cell phones are silenced and each member is in tune with the dialogue.  It is a perfect time to share feelings, thoughts, observations and opinions.  This platform encourages children and young adults to disclose the nuances of their daily lives. 

It is important to casually inquire about what is going on at their school, with their friends, how they view others or events that are occurring in the news.  It has to be natural and can’t be forced.  While you might find resistance and labeled as being nosey at first, hang in there because it’s new; once you become consistent with the approach you will find the conversation to flow.  It takes time to develop especially when your children are not use to it. You might have to explain your reason for initiating the conversation.  Remember it is perfectly okay to tell your children that you love them and you care about what is happening in their lives. 

You can get valuable feedback by opening the channels of communication and keeping a steady stream of information flowing.  Parents are capable of detecting subtle changes in a child’s demeanor, attitude, and personality.  These are flags to inquire deeper into the matter maybe even in a more private setting.  Kids that stop talking are communicating that something is possibly wrong.  Parents have to take the time and listen.